Waiting for tonight
Tobias slept late the next morning. He always did on Saturdays. It was his way of getting back the hours he lost during the weekdays. He lie staring at the ceiling fan, thinking about the night before. In college, they didn't teach him that he would have to pay through the ass to get a witness to cooperate. The speed of the fan blades reminded him of Chris, how fast he moved on him. Tobias was one of those guys that could never lie to themselves. No matter how hard he tried, he always came back to the truth. One of the truths he had to face was that he liked what he saw at the club. The vision of Chris made him feel things that a man separated from his wife with children shouldn't feel. The wine, his smile, the lights, his muscles, his smile, his eyes, his smile. Tobias couldn't lie to himself, something was brewing inside him and he didn't know how to feel.
If he couldn't lie to himself then he would just put it away. That was hard to do because he was still wearing Chris' sweats and his smell was all over him. Tobias had thoughts of canceling the date. If he did that, he would be giving up the chance to make partner and he wouldn't be able to impress Gen and get his family back. The phone rang. He didn't want to pick it up in fear that it might be Chris; but he a didn't want to be afraid either so he answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi Daddy."
"Hey pumpkin, what are you doing?"
"Watching cartoons...what are you doing?"
"Daddy just got up, are you and your brother behaving?"
"Yeah....mommy says we have to get dressed now, we're going to grandma's. "
"Ooh sounds like fun...well you guys have a good time and be angels for grandma."
The short call made him miss his kids more. He had to go through with this. He laid in the bed basking in Chris sweats thinking about what might happen. He looked at the clock on the wall to see that it was 4:00pm. He couldn't believe how much time he had wasted. In two and a half hours Chris would be there and another night of weird crap would begin. He went to his closet to get his clothes ready. He chose a pair of khaki's, white shirt, blue tie and a blue blazer. He disrobed and stepped in the shower. He thought that maybe he could wash Chris' scent off of him but he couldn't. He shaved and did all the manly grooming rituals in the mirror. He walked naked to his bedroom to get a pair of underwear.
"Hello, Toby."
Tobias turned around quickly. The life had been scared out of him .
"WHAT...HOW...WHAT THE FUCK CHRIS?"
Chris stood in front of a naked Tobias'. He wore a pair of tight, button fly, black jeans and a very form fitting black crushed velvet shirt with a zipper in the front.
"Man, your door lock sucks, I'll fix it tomorrow."
"Chris, you just can't walk in my apartment when you feel like it."
"Hey, I know. I'm sorry....I knocked but you didn't answer. I heard the water so I figured you were in the shower. This is weird though."
"YOU THINK?"
"Yeah, I'm used to being the one waving his big cock around for the enjoyment of others. I must admit you put on a good show."
Tobias remembered he was naked. He got a pair of underwear out of the dresser and put them on.
"Could I have a little privacy and what happened to 6:30?"
"Finished early...You're not going to wear that are you?"
"Yes I am...what's wrong with it?
"Toby.....toby, toby, toby, toby, toby. Look in the mirror."
He pulled Tobias to a full length mirror and made him look at himself. Tobias could feel himself weakening when Chris stood behind him. Chris' body pressed against his very tightly. He could feel the bulge against his butt.
"Now why are you hiding all of this with those boring clothes?"
Chris reached his arms under Tobias' arms to gain access to his nipples where he began to squeeze them and nibble on his neck .
"Please don't-"
"Don't what?"
"Don't do that."
"Damn you smell good."
"Chris...."
"You're skin is so soft and fresh. You fit me so well."
"Please, don't."
Chris pinched his nipples even harder. Tobias fell forward and braced his hand on the mirror. He never knew pleasure and pain could go hand in hand. Chris took advantage of Tobias' curved body. He kissed him down his spine while rubbing his stomach. Tobias started breathing heavy. His eyes welled up with tears.
"Oh god Chris, please stop."
Chris responded while kissing his neck.
"Toby, I love you and you love me too....I can't believe you don't remember."
"Remember what? What makes you think I love you?"
"Because I've got you so hot you can't stand straight and a straight man wouldn't let me kiss him down his back."
"Chris stop, please."
"If you want me to stop, you have to stop me."
Tobias stood slumped for a moment. He was like a smoker taking one good last puff before throwing the cigarette away. Chris slid his hand down Tobias' chest. His hands slid beneath the elastic band of Tobias' boxers and traveled through the hair. Just as he was about to grab his cock, Tobias' grabbed his hand. He turned around in Chris' arms, their foreheads touching, lips together. They stood close to each other breathing heavy.
"I have to get dressed."
"Yes you do, but you can't wear that. Put my sweats on and come with me."
They went downstairs to Chris' car, a souped up black Mustang. Tobias couldn't place the year of the car. He just knew it was old. While driving to Chris' place, Tobias was quiet.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah."
"You don't sound ok."
"Just catching my breath."
"I took you to fast, didn't I?"
"I'm ok."
"Toby you-"
"Don't call me that, my name is Tobias."
"I don't want you to be afraid to tell me things."
"I'm not."
"I want you to say what you feel."
"I do."
"Then how do you feel?"
"I'm fine."
Tobias was fighting a battle within himself. He heard voices in his head. Some of the voices told him how much he enjoyed what Keller did to him, some told him he was wrong for allowing it to happen. One of the voices was his daughter calling him daddy. The other was his father daring him to fuck up.
"Toby, we're here."
They pulled up to what look liked an old dispatch fire station.
"You live here?"
"Yeah come in and I'll find you something to wear."
You would think that a guys like Chris with his amazing sex drive and sleaziness would have naked chicks or guys, cars, or beer posters on his wall. His place was rather nice. He had nice furniture, an impressive entertainment center, and a very nice bedroom .
"Ya like it?"
"Yeah, it's nice."
"Lets see...How about this.... and this....this?"
"Where's your bathroom?"
"Toby, I just played with your nipples and kissed your back. Don't you think we have gotten past me seeing you in your underwear?"
Tobias put on the clothes. Chris had given him a brown pair of leather pants, white t-shirt and a matching leather jacket.
"You want me to wear this?"
"What are you complaining for...You look hot."
"It's 6:30, shouldn't we be going?
"Yeah."
They left Keller's place and went to the art show. When they arrived at the building, Chris allowed one of the boys to park his car. He took Tobias by the hand and escorted him inside. As they walked up the stairs, Tobias noticed everyone was looking at them. As a lawyer, he always used his ability to read body language to tell what people were thinking. From the looks of the people, they were jealous. Chris, apparently, was quite a sight to see and he was with him. They stepped inside the building where the doorway was filled with smoke. Someone was smoking something that screwed with Tobias's allergies. He closed his eyes and allowed Chris to lead him. Chris stopped him in a room and Tobias finished wiping his eyes. He looked around the room and was shocked. He never saw this type of art as a child. The room was full of cocks. Big cocks, small cocks, tall cocks, short cocks. No matter where he turned, he saw a cock.
"OH MY GOD, You call this art?"
"No, I call it crap, but I support my friends...he's over there...you look around while I lie to him."
Tobias looked around the exhibit. How can you fill a room with sculpted cocks? The glowing scrotum sack hanging from the ceiling was no better. He walked around the exhibit until he was caught is a gorgeous ray of blue light from above. He looked up through the skylight and the moon was full and adoring him. People began to noticed him, especially Chris. Before too long he had everyone's attention. At that point in time, Tobias was the only piece of art in the room. Chris walked over to him and slid his hands around his waist while whispering in his ear.
"You're the star of the show."
"What?"
"Look around the room. All eyes are on you. The moonlight agrees with you."
Tobias looked around the room. The eyes on him glowed in the darkness.
"Chris they're looking at us."
"No, babe, their looking at you" He starts to kiss him on his eyebrow.
"Chris, not here. They're going to think-"
"That your beautiful?"
"That I'm gay!"
"Come with me....if you think this is weird, I've got something to show you."
He pushed Tobias through a door with a flashing strobe light. He stayed outside. The walls of the room were lined with television sets. On every set was a video of two men engaging in very violent sexual acts. One of the guys had a black mask on, but his body reminded him of Chris. This completely blew Tobias' mind. Not only was this not art, it wasn't appropriate. On the other hand, there was some thing in him that wouldn't let him wipe the image away. It hadn't dawned on Tobias that there were couples in the room making out. There were two guys in the corner with their shirts off. One of the guys caught Tobias looking and walked over to him.
"Hey, moon boy, you wanna join in?"
He didn't give Tobias a chance to answer. He grabbed his hand and pulled him. He was stopped by a hand that grabbed his waist.
"He's with me and you're with him."
The guy backed off while smiling at Tobias. Tobias looked at him. He was appalled by the gall of the man. He didn't know him, yet he was willing to include him in their corner escapade. Chris pulled him close.
"You ok?"
"Yeah."
"People are leaving for the club so lets go."
"Yeah."
They went to the car and Chris opened the door for Tobias. Chris was always one to show off so he revved the motor to get everyone's attention and ripped out of the parking lot. On the way to the club Tobias didn't say a word. He tried to process what all he had just seen. Chris knew this. He had learned every line of tobias' face and every curve of his body.
"Hey, you're really quiet...you sure you're ok?"
"Yeah, that was ...well...it was wild."
"I know."
"Chris, can I ask you a question?"
"Baby, you know you can."
"The guy in the video with the mask, was that you?"
"Me? Why would you think it was me?"
"I dunno, it just looked like you."
"Toby, he had a mask on, how can you say he looked like me?
"I dunno, forget I said anything."
"No, I wanna know."
"You know...with the chest and everything."
"The chest? Toby you have a chest, how do I know it wasn't you?
"Ok fine, the chest, the arms, the shoulders, the six pack."
"You like that don't you?"
"Forget I even said anything."
He slid his hand between Tobias' legs and patted his inner thigh.
"Toby-"
"My name is Tobias."
"Baby it wasn't me. The guy in that video was my friend, you know the guy that made all those big cocks, that's him."
"Ok."
"Wait a minute, you thought that was me and you were jealous."
"No I wasn't."
"Yes you were."
"Why would I be jealous? It's not like anything is going to come out of this. We never promised anything to each other and there are no feelings here."
"You have feelings for me."
"And why do you say that?"
"Because for the last 5 minutes I have had my hand on your thigh and moved it to your crotch and you haven't stopped me."
Tobias reached down and grabbed his hand and moved it. He looked out the window, staring at the flashes of light as they passed the street lights. He didn't want Chris to see his face. He didn't want to give him any proof that he was right. Chris flashed a cocky smile. Beecher was thinking and that was good. The car turned down a dark alley. Beecher felt his stomach turn. What kind of club would be in a dark alley and was Chris telling the truth about the club to begin with. He parked by a dumpster and killed the car.
"Were here."
"The party is in a dumpster?"
"God , you're cute when you're dumb....will you just trust me?"
They walked down the alley to what looked like an abandoned building. Chris took out his cell phone and made a call. A few minutes later the door opened. The place might have been dead on the outside, but it was alive inside. Even as a kid, Tobias never did the club scene. His father wouldn't allow it. The club was dark, dirty, sinful, uninhibited. Tobias wanted to leave; but he also wanted to stay. Chris led him onto the dance floor. He slid his hands under the leather jacket and held Tobias by the waist. "C'mere."
"Chris, we can't...I mean...we won't...we're in public."
"Toby, let me tell you where you are. This place isn't in the yellow pages. If you ask someone if they've been here, the answer you will get will be no. You have to be asked to come. Look around you. There are doctors, lawyers, judges, politicians even priests here tonight. They're here because they know that their secrets will stay here"
He stepped closer to Tobias and raised his hands up his side and massaged his nipples with his thumbs while whispering in his ear.
"Toby, I brought you here so you could be yourself, so you could let yourself feel what you want to feel, do what you want to do. No one here is going to judge you, baby. When you go to the office Monday morning, no one will know. Tobias I know all this is coming quick; but you have to feel the heat between us. Did you ever in your marriage feel this with your wife?"
Tobias knew he hadn't. Maybe this "heat" that Chris spoke of is what was missing in his marriage. What was even more confusing was that he had this "heat" with Chris, a man, a man he had known for only 24 hours, yet he never had this heat with his wife from the day he met her. Chris' words in his ear filled his head like a drug. He allowed Chris to pull him close, so the two could become one. Chris kissed him on his cheek.
"God I wish you could remember."
"Remember what?"
"It'll come to you, or at least I hope it will."
"Why can't you just tell me?"
"Never mind."
"Why?"
"Toby, aren't you tired? You've spent so many years being told what to do, where to go, who to love, how to love. You've spent your time taking care of everyone else but no one takes care of you and you've been hurt. Aren't you tired of hurting?"
Chris' words drew tears to Tobias' eyes. How was this man able to sum him up so quickly and precisely? He was right. He lived for others and was hurt by them also. There was this internal need in him to break out and away. He never did. Being yourself wasn't appropriate in the Beecher household, nor was it in Genevieve's. Chris opened the buckle on Tobias's belt and unzipped his pants. He wrapped his hands around his waist and massaged the curve in his lower back. "Toby, I will never hurt. I wanna love you, take care of you. Let me, please?"
Tobias put one hand on Chris' shoulder. With the other hand, he unzipped Chris' shirt, slipped his hands inside and hugged him. Chris could feel Tobias' tears run down chest. He took his hands from his waist and cupped his head as he kissed him on his eyebrow. He looked Tobias deep into his eyes and kissed him. Tobias knew it was wrong. He knew that allowing this man to kiss him would only drag him further into the web he was weaving. He felt like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Chris was this tornado that dropped him in this odd place. The only difference was that he was all the characters rolled into one. He was cowardly because he was afraid to feel love, he didn't have a brain to do what he wanted to do and he was looking for the heart he never had. What was even more strange was here was Chris, the wizard, whom had the power to give it all to him.
Chris kissed him deeply until Beecher returned the passion. For some reason, Beecher felt comfortable. He gave in and engaged in the tongue play. He pushed Chris' shirt off his shoulders and kissed him on the neck and chest. Chris felt weak in the knees. He had been married four times and neither wife had the power Tobias had. He hadn't had anyone love him in any way in a long time. It was something he missed in his life. To have Tobias near him, to kiss him, to hold him, touch him, to smell him was like being born all over again. Tobias noticed that he was quiet. He looked at him to see Chris' tears reflecting his. The blue lights accented the beauty of Chris eyes.
Two tears filled eyes stood looking at each other. Two testosterone forces basking in the heat. Tobias grabbed him by his head and kissed him like he had never been kissed before. Before too long, Chris had Tobias against a entrance door. He kissed him on his neck and his chest. Tobias panted heavily. He through his head back in delightful pain because Chris had found his nipples and was sucking as hard as he could. Their passion forced the door open. They ended up against a wall outside the club. Chris hoisted Tobias around his waist and continued sucking his nipples and kissing his chest. Tobias looked in the sky and saw the dark clouds as they passed the moon. As the moon became visible through the holes in the clouds, small points of lights beaded on his sweat drenched face. It was hard fir him to get the words out to Chris.
"Chris."
Chris didn't hear him. He was enjoying the feast before him.
"Chris.....stop."
"No baby, please."
"Stop Chris."
"Toby, give in to me."
"Chris, we have to stop."
"Why?"
"We're in the real world now."
Chris looked around him. There weren't any flashing lights, just the serenity of the moon and the neglect of the alley.
"Hey, it's too late to drive to your place. Stay with me tonight?"
"I need to go home."
"Well let me stay with you."
"No, you need to go home. I'll take a taxi.
"Bull shit."
"I can take a taxi, you won't have to drive me."
"Bull shit, not at this time of night. I'd never forgive my if something happened to you. I'll take you home."
"Chris you-"
"It's settled, Tobias. I'm taking you home."
He opened the door for him and then got in himself. On the way to Tobias' apartment, Chris could feel himself coming off his sexual high. He noticed that Tobias was drained of energy. Should he feel bad for what he put him though, or was Tobias enjoying the chills that took over him.
"C'mere."
Tobias slid over and Chris put his arms around him. The situation reminded him of those nineteen-fifty black and white teen movies. The bad news guy in his bad news car with his arms around his good news girl. Chris kissed him on his cheek and rubbed his neck. They couldn't believe how quick the trip had ended when they arrive at the apartment complex. Chris killed the car and got out.
"Chris, what are you doing, you can't come up?"
"I know, when you get inside come to your window so I will know your ok?"
"I'm a big boy, Chris."
"Trust me, I know....just go on up."
Tobias extended his hand to Keller.
"I wanna do more than shake your hands."
"Real world, Chris."
"Ok, go on up."
Tobias entered the building thinking about Chris. Never had anyone been concerned about his safety. He couldn't remember being this confused in his life. Two days ago, he was this goody two shoes lawyer. Now he was being charmed out of his shoes by The Lawyer. He had a different story to tell the ceiling fan than the one he told earlier. He went to the window to give his signal to Chris.
"Ok, I'm in-......CHRIS WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"
Chris was lying naked, spread eagle, on his car. He flashed Tobias one of his killer smile.
"Hi ya Toby."
"CHRIS, put your clothes on!"
"Nope."
"What do you mean no?"
"Yes means yes, no means no, but there is one way you can get my clothes back on."
"How?"
"Come see me tomorrow."
"Tomorrow is Sunday."
"And?"
"I've gotta got to church."
"Come see me."
"Chris I-"
"Look, if you don't promise me now that you will come see me, I will shout at the top of my lungs that I am your boyfriend, that you fucked my brains out, and I'm here for more."
Tobias couldn't help but laugh. He heard Chris humming the beat of his strip music. There was that hideous dancing again.
"Chris, the police patrol this neighborhood and some of our clients stay in this complex."
"Then come see me."
"Chris."
"Come see me."
"Chris. I gotta go to church."
"Naked man shouting in 5 - 4 - 3 - 2-"
"Ok, I'll come."
"No, I want you to say: Chris, My boyfriend with the big cock, I promise to come see you tomorrow and I will be there before 5pm."
"Chris I can't-"
" I AM TOBIAS BEECHER'S BOY-"
"OK" Tobias thought that if he said it fast it would suffice. "Chris, my boyfriend with the big cock-"
"NEGATIVE, slow it down and say it sexy."
"Chris, my boyfriend with the big cock."
Chris started to feel himself at the sound of Tobias voice.
"STOP THAT!"
"I will when you finish, so I suggest you hurry up or your neighbors will have something white on the bottom of their shoes in church tomorrow.
" I promise to come see you tomorrow and I will be there before 5pm."
"No say the whole thing."
"Chris, my boyfriend with the big cock. I promise to come see you tomorrow and I will be there before 5pm."
"God I like it when your sexy. If you're not there before 5, I will come to your apartment and I will be naked when I arrive"
"Ok, now put your clothes on."
Chris jumped off the car and got in. In true Keller style, he revved the engine to wake the complex and ripped out of the neighborhood.
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